It must have been love but it’s over now
From the moment we touched to the time I ran out…
One song which has stayed on my playlist forever played again today morning, while taking a walk on this chilly last day of November…the onset of December already filling my heart with joy and a spring in my step. Julia Robert’s tear stained face in the limo just sprung to my mind. One of my favorite movies of all times simply for the fact that it made me believe that anyone’s dreams could come true. You just had to have the heart to dream them and the mind to believe. But it also set me thinking, can love really end…can it be over…is it finite…with a start point and end point…I don’t think so. Love is eternal, hopeful, everlasting and the only one thing in the world which will never end.
We lead ourselves to believe that we fall in love with another human being or a materialistic object or thing but in reality, we just ignite within ourselves the potential to feel deeply. A scent of a familiar dish cooked by mum makes us feel warm…a song from younger times brings joy back into our hearts…pictures with friends bring smiles to our faces…Tom and Jerry playing on screen makes us break into laughter…each moment, each occasion, each memory stirs up emotions within us which we file neatly inside our hearts, layer upon layer, time upon time but one small wind of nostalgia shakes them up and makes us feel the entire memory again.
One biggest thing I learnt while still growing up cause I still feel I have a long way to grow into a mature, responsible adult as prescribed by our traditional society is that I don’t ever want to grow up. Growing up means sterilizing ourselves against the very things which bring joy to us. We attach expectations, duties, responsibilities to each and every thing we come in contact with. That leads to heartbreaks, pain, grief and more. Anger and regrets surface into places which were earlier nothing but a rainbow of hope. These manage to ruffle all the well set moments of love and scare them into hiding into the deepest and darkest walls of our soul. Scared that if they appeared, they would be tormented, tortured, punished into discipline and revoked for feeling. For behaving like the immature, irresponsible joker or fool who fears nothing or doesn’t think about the consequences of his actions.
So we unteach ourselves and unlearn everything we had always loved. Food never loses it’s taste, what we lose is our ability to feel the taste, smell the food and enjoy the entire feeling of it. Life never becomes boring, we cultivate our minds to behave like proper mature adults who are not allowed to laugh or smile without reason. Even better, we completely train our minds to be slaves of the disciplined society and are so proud that we have achieved just what actually destroys our soul.
Love never ends or is over, breaks up or goes away…it always exists…it would be wonderful if our mind accepted the fact that the people who come into our lives at various points of time are like seasons…carrying their own qualities and uniqueness. I’ve never craved mangoes in December cause I know they would never taste or feel the same so how can I crave the warmth of a relationship which was meant for a certain period of my life. Friends come and go, soul mates materialize in times of need, relationship begin and move on, each serving their purpose in my life and helping me deal with the situation and nudging me forward to never stop feeling and moving forward to achieve whatever my heart desires. Each relationship strengthens my faith in the fact that love can never end. It goes on and on, only the faces and names change cause each time you love somebody, you actually only end up loving yourself a bit more.
So yes, this song will still remain my favorite cause just when the pretty women thought all her dreams were over and her heart was filled in pain, her white haired Prince Charming climbed up all the way on the wrought iron steps to give her the most beautiful kiss of her life. The awww moment which will never be deleted from my heart and soul. J