They say to love is the most beautiful feeling in the world but I don’t want to love you. It’s not because you don’t matter to me…it’s because you do that I have decided to do this. They say every relation should have a name…an identity…a binding…but it’s these same delicate threads which later turn hard iron chains and do nothing but smother, suffocate or torture one’s soul.
You see, love doesn’t come alone. Expectation and insecurity are its closest siblings, followed by jealousy, envy and longing. No matter how far love tries to run away from its family, they catch up soon enough and soon the emotion of love turns into a helpless, relationship filled with despair, anger and hopelessness and that is why I never want to be in that zone with you.
You make me happy. You touch my soul. The soul is infinite, free and wild. It has no family or friends…it is isolated but content. It is excited but calm. It can soothe hurt with hope and dry tears with smiles. The soul does not have timelines nor does it understand the concept of deadlines. It moves on and on like the ocean, taking in whoever it feels worthy and throwing out who does not belong.
You belong in that space now. Loving you would mean giving you a right over me. Responsibilities, duties and conscience all belong to right’s family. I want to be like a gypsy with you. Smile, laugh, say whatever is in my heart without fearing what it could be misinterpreted for. You make me feel like a child, wild, reckless, full of abandon, filled with laughter.
You do not exist in my real world….you are a dream…I want to take every day as it comes with you. We are two independent souls who deserve to be free of all ties that can smother us. There is a wild child inside me, full of mischief, full of affection which I want to share with you.
Please don’t try to understand me cause I don’t want to be understood. Nor do I want to be judged or typecast…I am not following any patterns or rules with you nor define any boundaries or limitations. The only reason you matter to me is because you make me happy. And that is why my lover, who takes me to peaks I had never thought were possible for me to experience…I will teach my heart never to love you.